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good vs. evil

Image by Ivars Krutainis via Flickr

My whirlwind has whipped around me scattering my hair from coiffed to breezy.  The wind has abated and as I look in the mirror I seem askew.  Goodness, encouragement and favor were my friends in 2011, the winds were good.  God directed each and every step and now that the holidays are in the past, quietness ensues as I gear up for the routines of work, both occupational therapy and my passion of writing and speaking.  The kids are preparing to head back to school tomorrow.  Mark is back at work without any sign of a break for a while.

The lull before the next whirlwind.

That reflection in the mirror makes me stop and think about where I am going.  Do I really know where I will head this year?

I find myself in a wonderful but perplexing position.  No longer are my choices of time spent merely between good and bad.  Now, my choices seem full of good, good, and good.  I feel it almost harder to discern between all the good, worthy and meaningful opportunities before me.  And maybe it is revealing some need far deeper than how to spend my time.

Over the last 3 years I have heard God asking me to cut back on commitments.  And I have, each year getting less and less on the “I promised this would get done” list.  And yet, with my recent nagging health issues, it seems He is asking once again to let go of more.

I get anxious, because there is something in me that is afraid that I will not be doing enough for His kingdom.  Maybe one of my greatest fears is to get to the throne room and not hear “Well done, good and faithful servant.”  So my question is: Does this DRIVE me or DIRECT me? 

I will confess – DRIVEN is more appropriate.  And as guilty as I feel while letting go, I keep hearing God say: “I have something new for you.  But there isn’t room in your life to bring it in.”  So I sit in my lull before the next whirlwind and ask what I should let go to make room for something new.

What about you?  Are you DRIVEN or DIRECTED?  What is the key for you to move from DRIVEN to DIRECTED?  Do you know where you are headed in 2012?

© Meakins Speak, LLC. 2012

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