For six months now, my house has been a battlefield. It is the war between 5 people’s stuff and the limited space of our home. For the last 3 months the war migrated to an attitude of my heart; resentment of those that created so much clutter and dirt and dust. I had way too many days of anger and weariness.
“Samantha, Nathaniel…. Whose chore is putting away dishes?”
“Last week it was Nathaniel, so this week is mine”
“Well, we are waiting on you to get that done, so Nathaniel can clean off the table. I guess you won’t be getting paid this week…..”
The ‘conversation’ got worse with my voice rising in pitch and volume. The anger at having a messy house because someone was behind on one chore, which led to problems at another, etc. simply became too much.
I tearfully looked at Mark and the kids and blasted:
“I’m done! I will not be assigning, tracking, or paying for anymore chores!”
I had finally come to the end of my rope. I finally acknowledged that I was the one failing – not Mark, not the kids – me! Let me clarify; my kids were not being responsible and they did not complete their agreements, so yes they did fail. But, I failed by not setting up the environment for all of us to succeed, to develop character and good habits.
After recognizing that I had failed them – I finally decided that I would rather take on all the responsibility if it meant peace in my home and heart. So, I did….. and in that time, I prayed and listened for God to show me what to do!
My First Lesson:
“Seek Peace and Pursue it” Psalm 34:14. God never intended me to ‘go it’ alone. My role is to serve my family through godly leadership. This means I am neither maid nor tyrant.
© 2011 Cheryl Meakins