I don’t think I have ever heard myself say “No” so much. No; Lydia, my 3 year old, did not have a bad day. In fact all the “no’s” I heard were inside my head.
NO, you may not have that cup of coffee
NO, you promised you wouldn’t eat that bread
NO, you must still fix dinner for everyone else and YES it needs to be something they want that you can’t have! Who knew canned chicken could smell so good!
The rhetoric could go on and on! Denying myself is not easy – by any means. I felt like today was just constant self-criticism. And already the thoughts are creeping in “you are never gonna make it 3 weeks”
But, I did it anyway. You know why? Because, I can choose to. I chose that just for today, I will keep my word to God. Just for today I can eat anything I want except for any food with animal products and yeast. Just for today I can have water or water with lemon, or an orange. Just for today.
Just for today I will spend more time in His Word. Ezekiel was a bit depressing so I read the first four Psalms. Psalm 4: 3-8 says this:
But know that God has set apart the godly for himself;
The Lord Hears when I call to him.
Be angry and do not sin;
Ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.
Offer right sacrifices,
And put your trust in the Lord.
There are many who say “Who will show us some good?
Lift up the light of your face upon us, Oh Lord!”
You have put more joy in my heart
Than they have when their grain and wine abound.
In peace I will both lie down and sleep;
For you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Pray with me today:
“Lord, thank you that you have set me apart for yourself. Thank you for leading me to this time of denying what I want, my right sacrifice, in order to find you. So Lord, I trust in you to keep me faithful. I trust that all I need is provided for me. I trust that you hear me when I call to you in my times of weakness. And with this you have put more joy in my heart than at the times when I eat all the bread I want, or drink whatever I desire. In peace I will rest my mind, my body and my spirit in the safety of your presence. Amen”
© Cheryl Meakins